quote of the week...

"I used to work at a factory that made fire hydrants. You couldn't park anywhere near the place."

--Steven Wright

do yourself a favor...

...and go see the movie "Julie & Julia".

It is such a charming little movie. Meryl Streep is incredibly engaging and joyful as Julia Child, and can I just say that I want to put Stanley Tucci (who plays Julia's husband, Paul) in my pocket and carry him around? I always get SO happy when I see he is in a movie because he is such a terrific actor. Put he and Meryl together as this adorable couple, and well...lovely. Just lovely.

My favorite scene is when Julia and Paul take Julia's visiting sister out for dinner. The whole scene is just delightful from beginning to end.

quote of the week...

"What happens matters. Maybe only to us...but it matters."

--Tea Leoni, in Ghost Town

quote of the week...

"If you do not find peace in yourself, you will never find it anywhere else."

--Paula A. Bendry

quote of the week...

"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile."

--Albert Einstein

quote of the week...

"Someday I hope to enjoy enough of what the world calls success so that someone will ask me, ‘What’s the secret of it?’ and I shall say simply this: ‘I get up when I fall down.’ "


--Paul Harvey

quote of the week...

"If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don’t be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning 'Good morning' at total strangers."

--Maya Angelou

congratulations...

...to Tyson, Jillian, and their loving families.

Thanks for letting me be a part of your special day.

quote of the week...

"It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any muscles to just sit there with a dumb look on your face."

quote of the week...

"The personality of a house is indefinable, but there never lived a lady of great cultivation and charm whose home--whether a palace, a farm cottage, or a tiny apartment--did not reflect the charm of its owner."

--Emily Post

well, good for me...

They were kind enough to have me as a guest poster over at Light Refreshments Served this week. I will try not to let it go to my head.

...Who am I kidding? I already have. When my kids asked if they could go to the park today, I told them to have their people call my people.

quote of the week...

"Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy. The amount of work is the same."

--Francesca Reigler

great article...

A friend recommended this one, and I really enjoyed it. It sort of solidifies some thoughts I have had in the last few days.

'Mourning sickness is a religion'

quote of the last 2 weeks...

“[The fact is] most putts don’t drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. …


Life is like an old-time rail journey—delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.”

--Jenkins Lloyd Jones, as quoted by Gordon B. Hinckley

i {heart} golf ball sized hail...

...and tornados. And my insurance company.

That is all.

quote of the week...

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."

--Tom Clancy

quote of the week...

“My basic principle is that you don't make decisions because they are easy; you don't make them because they are cheap; you don't make them because they're popular; you make them because they're right.”
--Theodore Hesburgh

car conversations...

Me: Honey, you really need to get over this whole "not liking to talk to people" thing.

16 year old (completely serious): Human contact is overrated.

when sisters attack...

My poor son. His sisters got bored the other night and decided to play beauty salon with him. He tried to run away so I couldn't take his picture...but then finally just crumbled, defeated into the corner. Nice eye shadow, huh?

quote of the week...

"The test of a man or woman's breeding is how they behave in a quarrel."

--George Bernard Shaw

just in case I forget to tell you, #2

Dear Children:

I think you'll come to discover that much of what you get out of this life will have to do with your perspective, and what you choose to focus on. You know how I love Abraham Lincoln, and one of my favorite quotes from him is, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." I believe that.

Let me give you an example that I believe is powerful. Here are 2 women's lives.

The first woman:

grew up in a very unhappy home
was abused in every possible way
could not trust the people in her family
learned not to have faith in herself
was parented with spiritual and emotional manipulation
watched her entire family fall apart when she was 17
had to move out with no family to speak of when she was 18
had no sense of what a relationship with God could be
lost both parents to death
struggled to build her own sense of worth
didn't know what a healthy relationship was
had no idea how to parent in a good way

The second woman:

was taught as a child that God loved her and knew her
had a deep belief from a very young age that life was meant to be wonderful
had opportunities to develop love and compassion for others
was blessed with a sense of humor
had experiences placed in her life that required her to learn and grow
sensed within her the chance to make her life anything she wanted it to be
was given a learning and willing heart
had amazing people put in her path that showed her that it was possible to succeed
came to rely on God because she knew He wouldn't let her down
was blessed with a man who saw her for who she was, and loved her
came to mother incredible people in the ways that she had hoped to be mothered herself
is creating a life of purpose, happiness, and value

And of course, you know that both of these women...are me. But just as I have separated the experiences in this post, I also separate them in my mind. Because the truth is that I choose which woman I am. I did not choose all of my circumstances, but I choose what I learn from them. And I can define myself by the good or the bad. I choose the good.

As you go through life, I'm not sure what other challenges and experiences you will face. Of course as your mother, I will wish all your lessons to be gentle ones. However, the wiser person in me will remember that it was through the fire that I came to be refined.

Whatever happens, choose good. Choose happy. Choose blessed. Because you are.

love, mom

This is your big chance to tell me what to do...

Well, the store stopped selling the bread we like.

I love good bread. It is a food group to me. When Jesus says He is the bread of life, I totally get it. And the fact that I now have to pay close to $4 a loaf for something that just tastes like somewhere to put the peanut butter and jelly just feels...wrong.

So, I was talking to The Hubby and we want to buy a bread maker. But this is a big area of knowing nothing for me. I haven't got the first clue of what to look for, what to avoid, what brands are reliable, what features are the best, blah blah bread maker information blah.

So, I appeal to my friends who stop by here. If you have any knowledge on this, please feel free to comment and point me in the right direction. If you know someone who knows everything there is to know about breadmakers, ask them to stop by. I promise to, well, pretty much do whatever I'm told. Because thinking about researching and picking a bread maker right now just makes my head hurt.

Oh, and just to be clear...you can only tell me what to do about buying a bread maker. All the other things that you wish to change or improve about me will just have to wait for another day. Sorry.

on our 21st anniversary...

21 reasons I am so glad I married The Hubby:

1) the way he looks in uniform
2) that he dances shamelessly in front of his children
3) how no one works harder than that man
4) that he makes up words to songs and then sings them with such commitment
5) because when I say my head/back/whatever hurts, he goes and gets me medicine
6) he can fix--or build--just about anything. I dream it, he makes it happen.
7) he has never once given me a reason not to trust him
8) that in spite of the fact that he never plays it, he still thinks he might win the lottery
9) how he still calls me from work just to say "hi"
10) Brianne
11) Spencer
12) Connor
13) Emma
14) Walker
15) Marin
16) Cooper
17) the fact that he would welcome another child in a heartbeat
18) he mops the floor because he knows I hate to do it
19) how he always knows what movie or tv show I am quoting
20) did I mention the uniform? Army, law enforcement...doesn't matter which. Hotness.
21) he was crazy enough to marry me twice--once for life, and once for always

you can stop looking, I have found @#!*% ...

...and it is 16 days in a family of 8 without a clothes dryer.

(fyi: that sound you hear is my will to live sllllooooowwwly seeping out of me)

quote of the week...

"Nowhere in scripture does it say, 'God is an accident' or 'God is death.' God is justice and kindness, mercy, and always--always--love. So if you want to know where God is in a bad situation or in anything that happens, look for love."

--Kate Braestrup

things you think you'd never have to say to your children, #29

"Honey, you can only buy KidsBOP CDs if you live in Canada. Sorry. No, it's true. YEAH, huh!

Okay, sweetie, I didn't want to tell you this but something really bad happened at the factory where they make the KidsBOP CDs and they were all destroyed...yeah. It was totally on the news last night. Really sad. But they said maybe in about 5 years they will rebuild and start to make them again.

So, what else would you like to use your birthday money for?"

quote of the week...

"If my life wasn't funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable."

--Carrie Fisher

happy mother's day...

...to my friends in the trenches of motherhood with me. It is a joy and a blessing to learn with--and from--you all.

And...I miss you, Mom. Both what you were, and what you never got the chance to become.

Fabulous prizes...

A while back, I entered a little contest that Miss Randi was having over at her blog. She promised fabulous prizes, and really, who doesn't want that?

All we had to do was post a quote from the LDS Church's General Conference, and if you were the first person to post her favorite quote from the conference, BOOM. Fabulous prizes for you.

So, I happened to be the one who ended up commenting first with her favorite quote. Yeah, me!

Now, Miss Randi is a busy chick. I'm not going to get into ALL the details, but I'm pretty sure that she is squeezing 3-4 more hours out of every day than the average woman. So, when the fabulous prizes didn't show up, I knew that she had it on her 'to do'' list, but that her 'to do' list was about 7643 things 'to do' long. She even wrote a post about how it was on her mind. In it, she calls me gracious. And, she is so right. I mean, seriously.

Hey...I don't laugh at you when you're deluding yourself.

Well, guess what I got in my mailbox on Friday? That's right--fabulous prizes! How fun is that? Now Miss Randi can take me off her 'to do' list. Now go and get some sleep, girl.

this may sound stupid, but...

...I have no idea what I have cooked for dinner for, like, the last 20 years.

What's up with that? It's like every time I sit down to make a menu, I'm reinventing the wheel. If you calculate it (here, let me) that's something in the neighborhood of 6000 times I've made dinner...subtracting around 1300 for the times I just threw my hands up and ordered something. Or let the kids just have cereal. Or tried to trick them that their after school snack was actually dinner. Or the times after I had a baby and someone else brought us dinner. Or the times when someone was actually insane, I mean, nice enough to invite our family over for dinner.

Umm, yeah...you see what I'm getting at. That's a lot of foodage.


And yet, as I sit down here (AGAIN) to make this month's menu...stumped. I have a vague recollection of some sort of pasta thing...and maybe hamburgers. But beyond that, I've got nothing.

quote of the week...

"He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still."

--Tao Te Ching

Dear Heavenly Father,

Today did not reflect my best work.

I respectfully and humbly request a "do over".

Love,

Your daughter

it's weird...

...how watching my neighbor pull something from out of my garbage and drag it home can make me reconsider throwing it out in the first place. What do they see that I don't see?

It also makes me reconsider how high on the creepy meter that neighbor falls.

I'm not going to lie.

quote of the week...

"I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship."

--Louisa May Alcott

fun weekend...

I've gotten to watch my son go through what we have teased him is "his Troy Bolton phase". Normally, he sticks with the sports. But he surprised us by trying out for a part in the one acts at his school, and ended up with one of the leads. Go Figure!

It was a fun one act called "Check, Please." It's about how the two lead characters, Guy and Girl, break up, and then they go on a series of horrific blind dates (one being with a foot reading psychic, pictured above) and end up deciding to get back together at the end. It is a sharp play, with a lot of opportunity for the supporting characters to ham it up. It was such fun to see him perform in a completely different way, and I could tell he really enjoyed it.

quote of the week...

"There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life -- happiness, freedom, and peace of mind -- are always attained by giving them to someone else."

--Peyton Conway March

hey, Mother Nature...

Seriously??

one of my favorite songs, sung remarkably well...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

quote of the week...

This is for my 11-year-old, 'Rocky' obsessed son:

"I'd rather do something I love badly, than feel bad about not doing something I love."

--Sylvester Stallone

quote of the week...

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to slide in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, screaming "HOLY COW, what a ride!"

--unknown

awwww...

Someone who means an awful lot to me recently told me that I have 'yummy smelling hugs'.

That may very well be the cutest thing anyone has ever said to me.

it's entirely possible that we should cut down on our reality TV...

...because yesterday, my children played "Biggest Loser" for over an hour.

They had challenges: Carry 5 Barbies from the basement up 2 flights of stairs, one at a time--first team done gets immunity;

Temptations: something involving the oatmeal pies I had just purchased;

tearful weigh ins: the 7 year old has plateaued at 54 pounds, in spite of his intense effort; and

One mother of a last chance workout. As I was watching our 11 year old pretending to be Bob, yelling "Come ON!! Last CHANCE!! You can do this!!" to our 35 pound 5 year old daughter as she jumps on and off an overturned toy basket the only thing I could think was...

it could be worse. They could have chosen to play @#!*% 's Kitchen.

quote of the week...

"I don't think there's anything exceptional or noble in being philanthropic. It's the other attitude that confuses me."

--Paul Newman

there's a blizzard coming...

...and me, without my emergency supply of sprinkles.

that's helpful...

Doctor: You really don't handle your stress well at all. You should learn to handle your stress better.

Me: I cannot believe I have to pay money to hear that advice.

quote of the week...

"How much larger your life would be if your self could become smaller in it; if you could really look at other men with common curiosity and pleasure. … You would break out of this tiny and tawdry theatre in which your own little plot is always being played, and you would find yourself under a freer sky, and in a street full of splendid strangers."

--G. K. Chesterton

this should be fun...

So I am involved in helping plan and execute an event for a school booster club. This is normally not "my thing", but I am determined to do this--to be of help, and to broaden my social circles a bit. I am excited, but a little nervous, because getting to know new people in a new environment is not something that comes easy to me.

So, I get the emails about where and when the first planning meeting is going to be. It seems that in choosing the location for said meeting, a high priority is placed on the availability of adult beverages and, if at all possible, a good Happy Hour. (and not the Sonic one, which of course I would be. All. Over.)

Great.

You see, with new people, I've always preferred easing into the fact that I am Freaky Mormon Chick. I can usually count on a few meetings that don't require me to reveal my teetotaler status, which gives me a chance to get comfortable with people before we have to get all "why don't you drink?" about it.

So, I go to The Hubby and I state: (very maturely and not at all whiny) "But I don't waaaaaannna be the Freaky Mormon Chick at the very first meeeeetinnngg."

His response?

"Tell them you're a raging alcoholic."
"Or tell them that if you come home drunk one more time, I'll beat you."
"Or you could always say...hey! Where are you going, babe?"

He made being Freaky Mormon Chick seem preferable, I'll give him that.

quote of the week...

"The best thing to hold onto in life is each other."

--Audrey Hepburn

the rest of the story...

It was sprinkles.

Imagine an 8 ounce jar...a FULL 8 ounce jar...of sprinkles. Now imagine a little 3 year old climbing up several shelves in the pantry to reach these sprinkles and having...some trouble.

Sprinkles EVERYwhere. Imagine a colony of Pixar-animated mice invading and leaving their droppings all over the place. Imagine them NOT just being in the pantry. Imagine them in the pantry--every single shelf and crevice--and also all over the kitchen floor. And the family room floor. And a little in the front room. The nice thing about wood floors is that they really give things that drop a running start.

Imagine the little 3 year old boy, quietly and frantically trying to "pick up" the sprinkles before Mommy can see what's happened. One by one. With his little chubby toddler hands.
I know. I couldn't even get mad at him.

a conversation that has no chance of ending well...

Me: (yelling) 3 year old child? Where are you 3 year old child? Three year old child!!
3 year old child: (yelling) I downtairs.
Me: What are you doing?
3 year old child: I...uh...picking up.
Me: What? Why? What are you picking up?
3 year old child: Uh...ummm...nutting?
Me: (as I run down the stairs) Crap.

quote of the week...

"I can remember what flavor of ice cream cone my grandmother and I shared at Disneyworld; but most of the time, I can't remember what day it is. I guess it depends on what you think is important."

--Katherine, age 13

another window into my world...

So, anyway...last week was, being the first week of the month, grocery shopping time. (has anyone else noticed that I mostly start posts with words like, 'so' and 'anyway'? It's like my blog--and my life--are just one big run on sentence.)

This is trip to the store #1. This is where I go to one of those "members only" warehousey thingys (it's a technical term) and get all the big bulk stuff. Just fyi--that pudding didn't even make it into the house before the whining for it started. I spent $147.63.

This is trip to the store #2, which was done right after trip #1. This second trip is to the local military base to shop at the commissary. There are much better prices than one can get "shopping on the economy" as it is called among us military family types. This is honestly a great benefit for us, and I am grateful for it. Most of the time, we save about 10-20% by taking the extra drive to go there. This time, unlike most times I go, I brought along The Hubby and our two youngest. It was no small miracle that we exited the store with no bloodshed and still speaking to each other. I spent $274.57.
And here we are with all the stuff at home, ready to be put away. Well, actually this isn't everything...all the frozen and much of the refrigerated groceries were put away before I took this picture.
This was an abbreviated shopping trip, because we had things left over from last month, and because I only went with my 2 week menu shopping list as opposed to my full month's menu shopping list. This will last us about 2 1/2 weeks, if I keep constant watch that the children don't eat all the snacks in the first 72 hours...

quote of the week...

"Sometimes, things happen that make you so mad, you can't even blog about them."

--my wise and witty friend, Kim

quote of the week...

"People who are brutally honest get more satisfaction out of the brutality than the honesty."

--Richard J. Needham

quote of the week...

"You've got to get to the stage in life where going for it is more important than winning or losing."
--Arthur Ashe

Sometimes I don't think things through...

Take Valentine's Day, for example.

I thought it would be cute to make wallet sized photos of my kids, pre-print them with a Valentine greeting, and tie them to a bag of goodies.

I did this for our pre-schooler last night. I had to make 8, and they turned out pretty cute.

Well, If I am going to do it for one, I have to do it for them all...this is where my not thinking things through came in and I spent this evening doing these.

75, people. 75. Oh, and did I mention my plan also included my baking stuff to go IN the bags??

quote of the week...

“Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever...”

--Isak Dinesen

25 things...

This is going around on Facebook. I might as well get as much mileage out of writing something as possible.

Here are some little tidbits about me. 25 tidbits, to be exact.

1. I don't eat breakfast. And on the rare occasions I do, it's always eggs benedict.
2. I read over 60 books a year. This is not a brag...it's a compulsion, and I probably need help.
3. My mom has been dead for over 20 years, and still sometimes on her birthday I have to remind myself that I don't need to get her a card.
4. I despise the term "hot" when it refers to a person's attractiveness. I still find myself saying it.
5. When I am shopping for groceries, I hyper focus. People I know have had to come up to me and grab my arm to get my attention, because I didn't hear them calling my name.
6. I miss my inlaws. I wish they lived here.
7. Nearly every morning, I wake up at 3 am. About half the time, I don't fall back asleep.
8. I would rather have a cook than a maid.
9. I never feel like part of the group.
10. I don't understand women that insult and criticize their husbands to their friends. It's like a sport with nothing but losers. Yuck.
11. I have been known to cry when I clean. My best guess is that it's cathartic.
12. During my formative years, I lived across the street from a cemetary.
13. I could eat pasta every single day.
14. I love that when I randomly quote something from a movie or TV, my husband totally gets it.
15. I like suburban life. It may be a bit trite and expected and boring, but I still like it.
16. I am not a hugger.
17. For most of my life, I talked incessantly. Now I really only do that with a few people.
18. My garage is currently so full of stuff that needs to be taken somewhere else, only one car can park in there. It drives. me. INSANE.
19. I romanticize the WWII era, and always think I would have fit in there.
20. If I can possibly avoid it, I don't drive in the snow.
21. I am doing a project right now where I take a photo a day for a year. I am putting them in a photo album with journaling and other things. I am loving the results.
22. My husband has to mop the floors, because I won't do it.
23. There are some books that I read over and over again. It's like visiting an old friend.
24. I haven't shopped for clothes for myself in over a year.
25. Cruises scare me, and I don't think I will ever go on one.

why I love where I live...

Stuff like this in my backyard. This is straight out of camera, no editing.

quote of the week...

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."

--Mark Twain

yeah, that's pretty much it...

quote of the week...

"I like winter because I can stay indoors without feeling guilty."

--Theressa Skelton

three words...

LOST. starts. TONIGHT.

quote of the week...

"The question is not whether our government is too big or too small, the question is: Is our government working?"

--Barack Obama

hypothetically speaking, of course...

One of the not so fun aspects of being employed in law enforcement is that some people just really don't appreciate your pulling them over and giving them a ticket.

I know, right?

Some anger is to be expected. I mean, how dare you stop them and cite them for going 10 over on a slippery day with no seatbelt or brake lights when you should be out there catching Real Criminals. So you ignore the anger and the snide comments, do your job, and wish them a safe rest of the day.

However sometimes, people don't appreciate it SO much that they decide that they are going to get back at the officer. They'll call and complain. And if they don't think that "well, I think traffic laws are stupid and I resent being told what to do by authority figures" is going to get them anywhere, they just make stuff up. This is when it really starts to get fun. Fun...or impugning someone's character, take your pick.

Allow me this moment of frustration:

It's just a ticket, people. And most of the time, it's not even the ticket you actually earned. 9 times out of 10, they write you up for a lesser charge, which amounts to a smaller point violation and a less expensive fine. They do this because they know that it's a pain in the butt to get a ticket, because they know that if you went into court you could get it reduced anyway, and because nobody gives them lollipops at the end of day based on how much revenue they pulled in. They have no personal investment in "catching you". Yes, you'll find the occasional power drunk jerk, but by and large...they just want the roads--and you--to be safe.

So, calling and making up stories about how you were verbally abused, or were (my personal favorite) sexually harrassed? Just because you don't want to 1) deal with the fact that you violated a traffic law and someone saw you, 2) pay your fine, and 3) get on with your life?

Sorry to get all 92-year-old grandma about it, but...you should be ashamed of yourselves.

Even if it's easy to prove your claim is unfounded, it still can take up to a month for all the people to do all the right things and fill out all the right paperwork. And even unfounded and dismissed claims end up on file. And--even if the officer has recorded all contacts and can prove that nothing unprofessional happened, they are still brought in and "counseled". Great use of time and resources. Great little added stress to an already stressful (and might I add, underpaid) job.

All because you're mad about getting a ticket. Nice.

quote of the week...

"There are no little things. 'Little things' are the hinges of the universe."

--Fanny Fern

quote of the week...

"If I could tell the story in words, I wouldn't need to lug around a camera."

--Lewis Hine

things you think you'd never have to say to your children, #46

"No, I don't think that switching from 250 channels down to 40 channels on the dish can qualify as child abuse. Nice try, though."

the streak continues...

So if you read my comments, you'll notice I won a planner over at Light Refreshments Served. That's 2 wins in less than a year, thankyouverymuch. I am on FIRE.

I wasn't going to mention the planner until I got the thing and could decide whether it was worth talking about. Well I got it, and Holy Mother of Planners, Batman.

This baby is jam packed with complete and total awesomeness. If you are a woman, you SO want this thing and you don't even know it. Trust me. It's not just a calendar...it's more like a journal of your comings and goings and goals for the year.

My favorite part is that for every week, there is an end-of-week review. It gives you a few pages to write down things that worked, and things that didn't. Ideas, thoughts, impressions, things to do differently and things to remember to do. I love that. I would love to show you what it looks like inside, but I worry about copyrights.

So, if you are in the market for a new planner for 2009, check out The Success Choice. You may find you love it, too. They are very reasonably priced, as well...especially if you buy the whole year at once.

Here's mine, after I prettied it up...I always have to pretty things up. I'm annoying that way.

 

happy new year...

...from me and my gang.

quote of the week...

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."

--Leonardo da Vinci

quote of the week...

"Women wish to be loved without a why or a wherefore; not because they are pretty or good, or well-bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves."

--Henri Frederic Amiel

quote of the week...

"Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught."

--Sir Winston Churchill

took a tag...

I took this tag from my friend, Sari, who isn't sure that 4 people read her blog.
Well I read it, Sari...so 1 down, 3 to go.



RULES:


1. Go to your pictures
2. Go to the 4th file & upload the 4th picture
3. Post & tell about the picture
4. Tag 4 friends







This is mine. It's from the recent drama night at my son's school. They were doing a selection of one acts, and his group was asked to perform. This picture is when they first came on stage and were introducing themselves. Two lovely girls named Ali and Ashley, and then the tall guy on the end is my boy. The one act was from "English Made Simple" and they did a really good job. It was fun to see this side of him, performing in front of others. It was also fun to watch because he has a bit of a crush on one of the girls in his group. (ssshhh...it's the one on the far left.)
I tag Kim (mamahen), Jan G, Vern, and Brittany.

car conversations...

Last night, driving to and fro with our 1st grade son.

1st grade son: So, Mom? Did you know that Hanukkah is before Christmas? And it lasts for longer than 1 day?

me: I did know that.

1st grade son: And, Mom? Did you know that it's called the Festival of Lights? Because it is.

me: I think I knew that. Did you know that not everyone celebrates Hanukkah? It's a special group of people who celebrate Hanukkah...do you know what they are called?

1st grade son: Ummmm.....(tentatively) Hanukkahans?

I almost had to pull over.

large family mommy guilt: how I got over it and found complete peace in giving my children just 3 gifts at Christmas

I'll let you in on a secret.

Moms of large families can have a lot of guilt. I get the feeling that the general public isn't aware of this on any major scale...this feeling being based on how many times I have been asked by friends and total strangers if I "know what causes that" or "plan on getting fixed" or, my all time favorite, "you done yet?".

If people knew that the average large family mom is already walking around with her own little folder of guilt that she regularly refers to all on her own, they might back off a bit. At least I think they would, but I'm optimistic like that.

The guilt comes from a concern that whatever you do, it will be determined by the well meaning folks around you that you do it because you have lots of kids. If your kids ever go out of the house with torn or dirty clothes, if you take simple vacations, if you stay at home mother, if sometimes dinner is cereal...you worry that everyone who sees what you are doing figures it's because you can't do anything else, because you have enough kids to qualify for an at home day care license.

Which brings me to Christmas.

I used to buy my children lots of Christmas presents. It took me several years to determine why I felt the need to overindulge my kids. Part of it is my own nature, to be sure. I am a gift giver. It's one way I like to show love. But as the years went on, I noticed that I found my children's gratitude diminishing, and my joy in getting them lots of "stuff" turning into irritation at the waste and expense of it all. And not just the financial expense...the expense of just owning and dealing with more things.

So, after a year or two when Christmas just gave me a stomach ache, I started to consider that maybe, just maybe, we should pull back, pare down, get less, and appreciate more.

It was then that the large family mommy guilt reared its ugly head.

"But--what if the kids and everyone else thinks that the reason you only give a few special things at Christmas is because you have lots of kids and can't afford to do anything else??"

And, as much as it pains me to say it, what it looked like mattered to me.

So--I had the large family mommy guilt, and had the part of me that just wanted to make Christmas meaningful. I started to ask myself questions...what did I want my children to know, to feel, to believe about Christmas? What did I hope they would remember about the Christmases of their childhood? What precedent did I want to set for their expectations of future Christmases, and for their future family's celebrations? And most importantly: what is the best thing to do, regardless of how many children we have?

That's when, with the hubby's help, I determined that we would do 3 presents for each child. One from Santa, one from Dad, and one from Mom. We also had the children draw names and buy gifts for one another. Grand total: 4 presents.

I'm telling you--one of the best things I ever let go of my guilt long enough to decide.

Christmas is now the fun and reflective time I hoped it would be. I have yet to hear any of our children even notice that we changed what we do. (it's been 5 years now) But I see the difference in the tone and the mood of the house--both on Christmas morning and every day leading up to it. There's just a lot less stuff...and a lot more peace.

So I've let go. And in letting go, I finally care a little bit more about the way things are and a little bit less about how things look.

Which is,as it turns out, what I really needed to begin with.

quote of the week...

"Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home."

-- Edith Sitwell

because I don't have enough problems...

My husband's cat peed on my laundry room rug. Again.

It's like the cat wants me to kill him.

quote of the week...

"It is up to us to give ourselves recognition. If we wait for it to come from others, we feel resentful when it doesn't, and when it does, we may well reject it."

--Spencer Tracy

quote of the week...

"A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues."

-- Cicero

I {heart} my asian market...

I really, really do. And yes, it is MY asian market...never mind the hundreds of asian and hispanic customers that frequent there...it's all about me. Me. The middle aged white lady who comes searching for her jar of bulgogi sauce and melon flavored ice cream bars.

In spite of this great love between me and my asian market, I have one concern...what is that smell in there? For real, why does the market smell like that?

My daughter says, "That's just the way asian stuff smells." While I am inclined to believe she is smarter than me--after all, she goes to college--I don't think she has a decent case for that argument. I don't smell that smell when I go to my favorite asian restaurant. This is a smell specifically limited to the market. So, theory shot down right there.

It's really more of a curiousity than a concern, now that I think about it. I mean, the smell hasn't kept me away so far. I will not stop going to the market based on that smell. I will stop going there if they stop selling my melon ice cream bars, however. You'd agree with me if you tried them. They are like heaven on a stick.

quote of the week...

“I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.”

---Maya Angelou

never mind Palin...

...here's why I'll never be vice-president.
[thanks, Andrew, for getting me thinking about it.]

*My children would totally give me up to the press as the nut job I am. Hubby could hold it in and speak only of my many saint-like qualities, but the kids...the kids would crack.
*Red and blue are not my colors. Can't wear those, can't be a lady in US politics.
*I tend to speak my mind without thinking first. I know, right?
*I'm a Mormon. Duh. If Mitt and his Kennedy-esque hair couldn't pull it off, then I sure as heck can't.
*Being the mom of many, I believe that a completely valid answer to many questions is: "Because I said so." Somehow, I don't think that would fly with the White House Press Corps.
*I would never wear a cheap $600 pair of earrings...oh, wait, that's why I'll never be First Lady. Nevertheless...I'd rather, oh, I don't know...feed my family for a month and a half.
*I have skeletons in my closet. I'm not saying it's a big closet, I mean, we're not talking a walk-in or anything...but it's there and there are bones in it.
*And speaking of skeletons...I once stole a candy bar from a grocery store. I still feel guilty about that, and I'm guessing that I couldn't pass a lie detector test because of it. What? You mean you don't have to pass a lie detector test to be elected into public office? Huh. That explains a lot.

quote of the week...

"I wish people could acheive what they think would bring them happiness in order for them to realize that that's not what happiness really is."

-- Alanis Morissette

I'll give in to peer pressure...

Nearly everyone is putting up pictures of their offspring in Halloween costume-age.

This was my favorite for this year: our 4 year old, who insisted she dress as Christine from Phantom of the Opera...and her sweet big brother who agreed to go as The Phantom for her.

things you think you'd never have to say to your children, #37

"Hey! All of you! Stop running around the island...and for the love of Pete, put your clothes back on!!"

quote of the week...

"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."

--Jim Carrey

best. diss. ever.

"Brady, Brady's not a bad guy...but that wife of his! That wife...she's...Shakespearean."

things you think you'd never have to say to your children, #89

"While I find it cute that you talk to your toys, it's important to remember that they are inanimate objects...which is why your getting angry at them when they don't don't talk back has me a little concerned. Just something to consider."

it took a head cold and some time, but...

I finally got all our photographs organized.

I have tried many different systems over the years--the predominant system being 'stuff them all in boxes and hope that the house doesn't catch on fire'. Then one day I looked up and realized that the only action I had taken towards recording my kids' lives and our family's memories in the past few years was to buy more boxes to shove the stuff in. Kind of pointless, right?

[disclaimer: I am now going to talk about scrapbooking. I realize this is a subject that bores some people to tears, and I will not be offended if you stop reading right now. It's cool. I have a few guys that read this blog...dudes, this is the time to go to ESPN.com]

Several months ago I saw this book by Stacy Julian called Photo Freedom. I've always enjoyed Stacy's approach to scrapbooking, as she is less linear in her thinking, like me. Scrapbooking in chronological order is a natural for linear thinkers...but it just really gives me a headache. Feeling I have to scrap 'in order' forces me to avoid scrapbooking all together, because I feel the price for scrapping what I really WANT to scrap is that I have to wade through all the stuff I DON'T want to scrap first. There are certain things that scream out to be scrapbooked in order--school things, for instance--but 75% of the photographs I have are not tied to any event or date. I am a more everyday photographer than an event photographer. I only take pictures of birthdays and school events because my children don't need one more reason to seek out therapy.

Anyway. The book gave me a way to organize our photographs that makes sense to me. Not only does it makes sense, it gives me super fast recall on where the pictures I want to use are. In my previously mentioned box stuffing system, I knew that taking on any scrapbook would entail my sifting through photos for hours until finally stumbling upon what I was looking for...or more frequently just giving up and heading to Sonic for happy hour.

Now, things are right where I need them to be. I can think about a photograph I have, and within about 10 seconds have it in my hands. Guess how much more I want to scrapbook now?

So, I want to share the most helpful idea that I learned from the book.

Nothing overwhelmed me more than all my kids' school stuff. There are pictures, report cards, essays, art, science projects, field trips, and choir concerts. Times all that by 7 and you can see why the thought of making any books for my kids about their academic years made me cry just a little bit. But, with this simple plan from Stacy, I am on top of it and even a little excited to get moving.

I made hanging file folders for every child, from pre-school to senior year. Every child, including my 3 year old who hasn't even started pre-school yet. (with the exception of our oldest, her school book is already done) Now, when anything comes home from school, I can just quickly file it under the correct child and grade. Then when I go to work on a child's book, I know exactly where everything for each grade is. What a life saver!

I hope that talking about this has gotten you to think about how to store things in a way that makes sense to you. It doesn't even have to be pictures, just think about whether the things you like and want to use are organized in a way that saves you time and energy for what you really want to spend your time and energy on.

And, if you have any super cool organizing ideas (for photos or anything else), please share with me.

quote of the week...

“Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.”

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am a good mom...

I--uh, the girls--reeeeeeeallly wanted to go see High School Musical 3. So, I sacrificed my Saturday night...and when I say 'sacrificed' I mean 'nothing was keeping me away from that theater because I SO have a secret crush on Troy Bolton'.

What I won't do for Zac Efron my kids.

Proof that not only does my husband love me...

...so do Ben and Jerry.

How do I know this? Because this is what I was given as a treat today:

I am totally not sharing. Don't even ask.

quote of the week...

"As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives."

--Henry David Thoreau

in case I forget to tell you, #1...

[very long preamble starts now:

Sometimes, when given moments to ponder and reflect, I think of life lessons that I have been taught. The reminders of those lessons sometimes wander into my thoughts at quiet moments--while folding laundry, or at 3 am holding a sick and restless child, or in between pick ups and drop offs to pre-school and intramurals...even as I grocery shop for the month.

Often in the last few months, it has occurred to me that I may never have "the moment" when I can share what I have discovered with my children. And this just stressed me right out. So, from time to time as my brain reminds me, I am going to share things here that I hope to tell my children, but worry that I won't.]

Children, never let knowledge become more important than people. Never find joy or accomplishment in being the smartest person in the room. And, if you think you are the smartest person in the room, you probably need to get to know the people in the room better. There is no person that you can't learn from. And you will find that as you grow older, what you know seems to grow smaller. Life is humbling that way.

It's true that knowledge is power, and my wish is that you will never wield that power carelessly. Knowing something about someone is a responsibility. Take it seriously. You will probably know about me that I have little to no tolerance for gossip. There are few things with more potential to destroy and harm. Gossip may or may not be true, which is all the more reason to avoid it. And let me just say this: just because something is true, does not mean it should be talked about.

When you are considering sharing knowledge, always consider why you are sharing it. Who is it serving to share it? Is it to benefit someone else or is it just to show how much I know? Always consider that we learn what we learn when we need to learn it...and allow those around you to learn at their own pace. Think of how patient God is with us, and it will help you should you feel impatient with others.

love, mom

quote of the week...

"I can't worry about your character...I can, however, improve my own."

--Katharine Hepburn

quote of the week...

"Be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled...will disappear all too soon. And that you will, to your surprise, miss them profoundly."

--Thomas S. Monson

another season ending injury...

So, football ends early this year for my son. Officially, it's called a right shoulder subluxation. Which is just a fancy way of saying that he dislocated it. So, no contact for 4 weeks, and physical therapy for 6 weeks. We got a great orthopedist who really wants to be sure he is healed to minimize the chance of recurrence. The last thing we want is for him to need shoulder surgery at age 16. So, it's the sidelines for the last few games.

random answers to random questions that nobody asked me...

Got this from TheMom's blog.

1. Where do you fold your laundry?

I fold my laundry in the laundry room. I have baskets in there with all my kid's names on them. The theory is that the children will then come down, take their basket, go to their room, and put away their clothes. What actually happens, you say? They just come down in underwear in the morning and dig through the basket for that day's fashions.

2. Must you be sure the dishes are washed before you go to bed each night?

In my mind, yes. But usually I have to make that happen by standing in the kitchen and sighing heavily while shaking my head back and forth (and it helps to look pitiful, gotta have the pitiful look down) until my hubby walks in, sees me, and starts to do it. I'm not saying it's for everyone, but it sure works at my house.

3. Do you use caller i.d. to screen your calls?

No, because I am not mature and confident enough for caller ID. We had it once, and whenever I would come home I would look at the missed calls and obsess about them. "Maggie called, but she didn't leave a message. Why?? What does she need? Should I call her back? Well, she didn't leave a message, so maybe it's not important. But if it's not important, then why DID SHE CALL??!!"

4. Do you let the low fuel light come on in your car before you fill up?

Only if we are stretching until payday. The rest of the time, never below half a tank.

5. Are you a registered voter?

I am, but I pulled my party affliations years ago, so I don't vote in primaries.

6. Breakfast for dinner is one thing, but can you eat dinner for breakfast?

I've never tried that, all I know is that when I make scrambled eggs and pancakes for dinner, my children write poems and sing special songs about how I am the best mom ever. I'm just not sure that meatball stew at 6 AM would have the same effect.

7. Do you click on the ads you see on people’s blogs?

Not that I recall.
8. Do you just want to yell at smokers who are clearly standing within 50ft of the door at a restaurant?

I don't want to yell, but I do want to cough and go take a shower.

9. What did you have for breakfast today?

I don't eat breakfast. I think that the person who said it's the most important meal of the day was just selling something.

10. What about your life today would surprise your teenage self?

All the people that call me Mom.

question...

Does it count as housework if I erase all the stuff I don't need anymore off of my DVR?

I'm thinking it should.