I can never run away from home.
Well, okay. I can. I am physically capable. Let's not get all 8th grade English teacher about it.
(totally just had a flash of Mr. Houghton at Payson Middle School... Me: "Can I go to the restroom?" Mr. H:"I don't know, CAN you?" Good times.)
But the thought came to me last night that if I were to run away, as attractive as it may sound, it would probably end up being a bad idea. Why, you ask? I submit the following:
1) Nobody in my family knows where anything is.
So, I wouldn't be 5 miles from home before the cell would start ringing. Things like where Mom keeps the scissors, masking tape, gum, garbage bags, food, water, and other necessities...these are mysteries to my children. And Dad, well...Dad knows where the things that Dad cares about are. So, if you want to know where the air compressor and nail gun are, he's your guy. Your Pretty Pretty Princess game, not so much.
2) I love my home.
My hubby is always saying, "Hon, go out and just be alone and have some time." But, the thing is, I like being at home. I am a homebody. I really don't even WANT to leave...I want EVERYONE ELSE to leave and let me enjoy myself in peace. And--let's face it. I am the only one who really cares if this house is clean. So, I leave, and it's Lord of the Flies up in here.
3) I'd have to pack.
I really don't think this needs a whole lot of explanation. Packing to me is about as much fun as [insert something nobody finds fun].
4) I like my husband.
We always joke that if we got divorced we'd drive the new people in our lives crazy with always needing to talk to each other. It's one of the annoying side effects of being married to someone you find genuinely interesting. So, even though I'd enjoy the first few hours of freedom, more than likely I'd be on the phone with him by day's end, having one of our legendary "What are you doing?" "Nothing, what are you doing?" conversations.
5) Gas prices.
Hello?? I'd spend a week's paycheck and get to, like, Grand Junction.
6) Fine, I'll say it. I'd miss my kids.
I'm not going to get all motherly, but, dang it, they are pretty amazing. That's the thing, isn't it? There's the stuff that drives you crazy, but it never even comes close to the stuff that fills your heart and makes you happy. And there's that pull--that pull to be there--to protect, to comfort, to listen, to guide, to love.
So. I'm not going anywhere. But I'm still going to fantasize about it, and you can't stop me.