just in case I forget to tell you, #2

Dear Children:

I think you'll come to discover that much of what you get out of this life will have to do with your perspective, and what you choose to focus on. You know how I love Abraham Lincoln, and one of my favorite quotes from him is, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." I believe that.

Let me give you an example that I believe is powerful. Here are 2 women's lives.

The first woman:

grew up in a very unhappy home
was abused in every possible way
could not trust the people in her family
learned not to have faith in herself
was parented with spiritual and emotional manipulation
watched her entire family fall apart when she was 17
had to move out with no family to speak of when she was 18
had no sense of what a relationship with God could be
lost both parents to death
struggled to build her own sense of worth
didn't know what a healthy relationship was
had no idea how to parent in a good way

The second woman:

was taught as a child that God loved her and knew her
had a deep belief from a very young age that life was meant to be wonderful
had opportunities to develop love and compassion for others
was blessed with a sense of humor
had experiences placed in her life that required her to learn and grow
sensed within her the chance to make her life anything she wanted it to be
was given a learning and willing heart
had amazing people put in her path that showed her that it was possible to succeed
came to rely on God because she knew He wouldn't let her down
was blessed with a man who saw her for who she was, and loved her
came to mother incredible people in the ways that she had hoped to be mothered herself
is creating a life of purpose, happiness, and value

And of course, you know that both of these women...are me. But just as I have separated the experiences in this post, I also separate them in my mind. Because the truth is that I choose which woman I am. I did not choose all of my circumstances, but I choose what I learn from them. And I can define myself by the good or the bad. I choose the good.

As you go through life, I'm not sure what other challenges and experiences you will face. Of course as your mother, I will wish all your lessons to be gentle ones. However, the wiser person in me will remember that it was through the fire that I came to be refined.

Whatever happens, choose good. Choose happy. Choose blessed. Because you are.

love, mom