Friday, December 01, 2006


I've been thinking about friendship.

I went out to breakfast a little bit ago with my best friend from high school. We live in the same neighborhood, and two of our children are school mates. But that is where any parallels end.

We are pretty different in our life choices. She is an education professional [a principal, no less! When did people our age get to be people in CHARGE of stuff??] ; I am a stay at home/sometimes homeschooling mom. I got married in my teens, she got her Masters. She is a social worker background die hard Democrat; I am a right leaning traditionalist who weighs my religious beliefs against any political position. In fact, she and I accidentally ran into each other at the voting booths this past election. Upon making eye contact, we started laughing and said, "Oh, good. Now we can cancel each other out!"

And yet, 20 years after we first became friends, I still find myself sitting across a table from her at Village Inn, laughing and talking and loving every minute of it.

There is something unbelieveably comfortable about our friendship. And no matter how much time passes in between visits, we pick right back up and have that same easy cadence with one another. I have been thinking that, perhaps, it is our differences that make our friendship so strong. There is a bedrock of acceptance that I find lacking in some of my friendships with people who are more similar to me. Maybe some friendships get so built on how alike two people are, that any shift by either person becomes a threat to whatever common bond the friendship was born under.

When two people who are very different become friends, there is an immediate understanding that this is not a friendship based on seeing oneself in each other...but on seeing things through different eyes. Eyes that like you, respect you, but don't always prioritize life the same way you do.

It's wonderful and comforting in ways I never could have imagined.


Anonymous said...

Is this friend a former lawn forker, who my friend had a crush on?

happy mommy said...

Indeed. However, I cannot say for sure that she is a FORMER lawn forker. Things get wild in surburbia sometimes, and even moms get restless.

Julie said...

I loved your last paragraph. I have friends like this -- we don't have to see the world the same way to appreciate each other's opinions. It's refreshing actually. Frog and Toad can still be friends.

Anonymous said...

The thing about this blog is, it takes me back to high school and all the thoughts and emotions of then.

And then you say the thing about Village Inn and I'm like, damn, I used to sit in that Village Inn and have a major crush on you.

Also: you break my heart with that right-leaning bit.


happy mommy said...

I know what you mean, Andrew. I do.

And don't be too broken up about the right leaning thing. I find myself leaning further the other direction every day.

scrapnstamper said...

There is something great about having a shared history that bonds us with old, dear friends, no matter our differences. Thanks for the post!

Alli said...

Hi there...I stumbled on your blog a little while ago and loved this post. I e-mailed to my best friend. We are the same way, except we live 4 hours apart.

Thanks for this! It was great to read.

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

Hooray for lasting friendships (particularly when you and your friend have become such different people). How great that you can still relate to each other after all these years.

I've appreciated all your encouragement during these last few days. Thanks so much. :)