Saturday, November 25, 2006

Sometimes, the Circle Of Life just sucks...

My hubby's grandma, or my "grandmother-in-love" as she likes to say, has to move.

She's lived on the same street in Yonkers, NY--just a burrough over from her birthplace, the Bronx--for close to 30 years. She and her husband moved into the current apartment (which is actually a home, divided into one apartment per floor) in 1987, just up the street a few houses from where they had resided before. Her husband died in that apartment, less than a year later. It's the home that we have always come to when we visited NYC. It's the spot we always picture her in when we call her to check in. It is filled with her Hummels, her photographs of my children, her wonderful Grandma smell, and her spirit.

And now, she is leaving. The house is being sold, and the current trend is for new owners to come in and restore the house to its original single family dwelling. So she must leave that place and find another. And Grandma is not well. She suffers with chronic pain and limited mobility now, her 91 year old body finally deciding to act its age, after years of it behaving a good 20-30 years younger. So, when she leaves this home, it won't be for another place filled with her things. It will be for a place where she can have "assisted living".

My heart aches for her in a way that I couldn't have imagined. To have to leave all that she has spent her life gathering...all that she feels comforted by and that reminds her of the times and people she loves. Grandma Peg has always been fiercely independent. When she was in her early 80's, I asked her once what she did to fill her time. She stated without a hint of getting the humor in it: "I drive old people to their doctors appointments."

There is just no way to soften the blow of this for her. We live half a country away, and even if we were close by, there is just no fixing this. All we can do is pray and hope that she will find some comfort in the situation. She is a wonderful, lovely, and very sad lady right now.


Mean Mommy said...

Aww. That's so sad. :(

I'm waiting for the day my grandparents have to move, since my grandpa's knees are supposed to be replaced (which he's stubbornly resisting) and their house has stairs everywhere. There's no way to get to living spaces without going up or down stairs. My grandma sounds like yours 'taking care of the elderly shut-ins' (which she almost is at this point taking care of Grandpa).

*prayers for Grandma Peg*

Anonymous said...

Oh, how sad.

My grandma is going in a downhill direction. Actually, both of them. It's so sad to see them unable/without the energy to do things they used to. (One had a stroke-like episode, one has osteoporosis. They both have other problems as well.)

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

I'm sorry for your Grandma... poor lady. Will she stay near Yonkers or move closer to other family?

My grandma is still on her own at age 84. I don't look forward to the time when this might happen to her.

happy mommy said...

Actually, there is a possibility of some sunshine on the storm cloud's FIL (Grandma's son) is considering bringing Grandma here to CO to find an assisted living place!

I would be thrilled, because even though it isn't home for her, she would have her grandchildren and great-grandchildren nearby.

Thank you for all your kind words. It's just one of those "life" things that sneaks up on you. You look at your family and suddenly they become mortal, dang it.

vgabnd said...

The Circle Of Life does suck at times... but maybe there'll be a life grandma can touch and be a part of in the new place?