Tuesday, August 19, 2008

raising boys...


I never really wanted boys. [I never thought I wanted kids actually, but that's a story for another day.] I kind of looked at boys as loud, wrestly, superhero-obsessed creatures with which I had nothing in common. The idea of mothering boys seemed, on its best day, not much fun.
Now I have 4 boys. Thanks, Heavenly Father. Don't you just love His sense of humor?
So, I've discovered something. Boys are amazing. Boys are especially amazing to their mothers. My boys are very tender-hearted and kind to me. They all have been very tuned into how I am feeling, since they were little. And take it upon themselves to try and make sure that Mommy is doing well.
I remember when my my 3rd son was 2. He would climb up on my lap, take my cheeks in his little chubby hands, look me square in the eye, and say, "Happy? Mommy? Happy Mommy?" I get my screen name here from that little exchange.
My boys also have a great desire to please me. While my girls seemed to come out of the womb ready to do the exact opposite of what I'd like them to do, my boys are very pliable and willing. In fact, so much so that I must be careful. I have to watch how much I tell my oldest son, now nearly 16, about what I think he should do. Whether it be classes to take, clothes to wear, the kinds of things that aren't about right or wrong but simply preference. He will nearly always do what I suggest. So, I have learned to work with him in questions, asking him what he thinks, what he likes. I'll rarely say what I think he should do about things, because I don't want him to become accustomed to listening to a voice outside himself to decide what he is going to do.
I have found that raising boys is raising men, and I like the feeling of that. I like to think that my 4 boys will grow up to be the kind of men I'd like my girls to marry. I trust that my friends with boys are doing the same thing. My hope is that I will teach them to work hard, play hard, love God, cherish and protect the women in their lives, and teach their future boys to do the same.
They are still loud, VERY wrestly, and superhero obsessed...but somehow I'm okay with that.





11 comments:

Brittany said...

I'm not so scared to raise my little boy after reading this - like I might not totally mess him up. I've started reading a book called "The Wonder of Boys;" very interesting look into the male brain and raising boys. Check it out!

Awesome Mom said...

I grew up in a family of all girls (excepting of course my father) so living in a house surrounded by all boys is very different. I am finding that I quite like it.

Dionne said...

I've also got four boys, and I love it! Love it love it love it.

In my case, I was terrified of having a daughter because my relationship with my own mom is not what I'd like it to be, and I thought I'd pass that on down.

In my case, he kept sending boys until my heart was ready for a girl.

Dionne said...

Oh, and I finally figured out why your blog didn't like me. I wasn't filling out the word verification part.

D'Oh!

Anne/kq said...

:) Strangely, I thought I wanted boys first and got 3 girls in a row (so far.)

Jamie said...

Totally agree with you! Thanks for reminding me how lucky I am to have boys (although my church calling with the girls in Activity Days also reminds me- an hour with their high pitched squeals and I am more than ready to go back to wrestling superheros).

Bethany said...

I would have no idea what to do with a boy!
You have such handsome sons!

Armagnac Esq. said...

Oh my, 4 boys, 3 girls, well done!

Our second is on their way, a boy to accompany our daughter. I'm nervous about being a parent twice over, let alone...

Anonymous said...

I love love love this post. I only have the one boy, and I initially thought the Lord was having His fun with me, since I only have sisters.

As he has grown, though, I have continually been amazed at the wonder that are boys. I am so grateful to have him, and love being the mother of a boy/young man. It has given me the chance to see the world through different eyes, and it is glorious in its added dimension.

Thank you for writing this.

--CrowGirl

MKL said...

I'm another one with just one boy (plus two girls, plus a female dog), so Nick and I are the lone guys in the house. I've greatly enjoyed watching him become a young man and seeing his progression and development.

~PollyAnna said...

I loved having my boys around... but those days are fewer now... I enjoy watching how my sons express themselves as men these days... They are kind, and helpful... for the most part comfortable and happy being gentle. It's a good thing, cause they are tall men, with the ability to be powerful physically.

Son1 is turning out to be a lot like his dad... not perfect but a thoughtful, good hubby, all told... my youngest son is shaping up the same way... of course a mission will work wonders on his personality too... [winkyz]