Sunday, June 01, 2008

Apparently I don't handle my stress well...

Yeah. There's a shocker.

We have been doing major home improvement projects, and getting the daughter graduated. [mission accomplished--pictures and more in an upcoming post]

We also had company, which I enjoy, although I always want to have everything "perfect". This required much in the way of cleaning and painting and preparing food and blah blah blah. All very important and earth shattering things, I assure you.

The house looked wonderful, the guests were fun, and the food was yummy and plentiful. We got through all the events with very little complications, and had a great time.

But something was lurking beneath the surface, waiting to strike.

Saturday afternoon, I started getting a little rash on my neck. Just kind of red and itchy. Didn't really even think too much about it until late in the evening when it started to spread a bit and get more itchy. Went to the store and got some cream to calm it down and went to bed. The next morning it was about the same. Didn't worry about it, went on with the day.

I woke up early the next morning with something all over my neck and part of my face WAY scarier than anything I have ever seen on Discovery Health Channel. Should they choose to approach me for a documentary, my working titles for it are: "Dermatology Nightmares: When Rashes Go Mutant." OR "Swelling, Oozing, and Blisters: The Triple Threat The Government Doesn't Want You To Know About."

After several trips to the ER and Urgent Care, which included something like 15 prescriptions and some really mean stinging shots to my rear... I am almost healed. It has gotten down to where I just look like I am recovering from a burn, and the pain involved is MUCH more manageable. After I finish the 15 prescriptions in a few weeks, hopefully it will be all gone.

The doctors tell me that this kind of thing usually manifests when the body and mind are under extreme stress and the immune system is worn down. It also has something to do with having the chicken pox virus in my spinal fluid, but I won't bore you with all the details. Suffice it to say, my mind stressed my body into a mother of a reaction.

It has been an interesting experience. I think I had kind of a revelation this week. I take things WAY too personally. I worry about things that are not only beyond my control, but silly and insignificant in the big scheme of things. I really try hard to make everything in my surroundings "perfect" because somehow I think it will distract others (or perhaps more truthfully, me) from the ways in which I feel I fall short as a person. I work far too hard at making things look the way I want them to rather than just enjoying and accepting things (including me) as they are. I am grateful that I didn't let these habits ruin all the fun of the events...but judging by my body's reaction, I just internalized it to be dealt with another day.

I've got some changing to do. I'm going to ask myself some tough questions and be willing to either work with or live with the answers. It's time to let go of certain things before I look back and realize that I really didn't embrace my life and live it with my whole heart.

Wish me luck.


The Bulkeleys said...

Mid-life crisis! Woo-hoo!

Stay away from sports car dealerships.

happy mommy said...

You think? Huh. I'll have to consider that.

And, cars is really more of a guy mid-life crisis thing.

Living My Dream said...

You crazy woman! Anyone who knows you knows how wonderful you are and we wouldn't care for a minute if your house was torn apart!!! Thanks for letting us be there. I worried about you lots and an glad that you are finally on the mend! I've taken the pasta salad to two events now and everyone loved it! Wish we could get together again sooner rather than later and enjoy doing NOTHING!!! Maybe it's your turn to come visit!!! See how the rest of us crazies live! :)

Love ya!!!